Head in the Clouds...

ahhhhh just another BLAH day here in Mikeville. Party cloudy, with a chance of rain throughout the day......high in the 50's with a chance of colder weather on the horizon....

How was Thanksgiving? It is a question I have been asked probably 10 times today, a question I haven't always had the answer to right away. Thanksgiving was fine, good, well too much food but that just means I need to go for a few extra walks this week (Tyson will like that)! No in all seriousness.....all in all Thanksgiving was OK, yeah that's how I'll describe it. Nothing special, nothing horrible, just OK. I don't know, I guess I kind of had a hard time over the 4 day holiday weekend....a little lonely even though I was always around someone (wasn't expecting to feel that way, kind of took me by surprise). I guess it's a feeling that's a little hard to explain, mainly because I don't even know if I understand what or why I'm feeling it. Kinda confusing huh? Shit how do you think I feel!!! I was definitely rearing to get back to work and back in a groove today, something structured!!! Not that I was all down on myself this weekend, or my situation, it's just that this Thanksgiving was so very different from the last 4, shit the last 8 for that matter....in a way it made me sad. I guess it's just me still adjusting to the change which seems to be always occurring around me these days.....hahaha the change that has engulfed my life!!! I have to say that I did find myself wondering about Maureen a lot over the weekend, I thought about another close friend a lot too, and even Jenny and I. SHIT I NEED TO STOP THINKING AND JUST GO WITH THE FLOW!!! I guess I just had a lot on my mind over the holiday weekend.....too much thinking for my liking these days as this mind gets carried away quite easily.....it just seemed to keep me in this perpetual haze all weekend, didn't have the urge to do a whole lot. Sometimes I wish I could stop thinking about my current situation and the events which have transpired up to this point, but I just can't seem to shake the thought the last week or so and it's really starting to bother me....don't like being down and feeling this way. Guess it's the old saying, three steps forward, two steps back. Making progress, hahahaha sometimes at a snails pace.....but progress none the less and that's the way I need to look at it! Ahhhh to much analyzing about life can drive one mad.....

Everyone in my neighborhood has their X-mas decorations up, everything is looking festive, shit it even snowed, hahaha and then there's Scrooges house on Orchard (LOL that's me). Ahhhh I just can't seem to get into the holiday mood this year....kinda depressing actually but none the less a reality. Shit last year we had a tree up and decorated, shopping underway, presents under the tree (yes we were "those" people) lights on the outside of the house, little things all over the inside of the house.....this year it all just seems empty and I guess that's just how I feel at the moment. Something is definitely missing....

Just lonely lately, surrounded by everyone, but feel alone none the less, a little on the empty side....

Is the glass half empty or half full? Hmmmm another topic for another blog, stay tuned for another exciting and intriguing episode this week....

¶ 6:14 AM